More fallout from (one of) the roommates / Más quilombo con (una de) los compañeros de casa

For the benefit of everyone´s various languages, I´m going to post this in both English and Spanish to avoid any confusion and also some ´lost in translation´ moments. Firstly, English:

Para el beneficio de todos que entienden distintos idiomas, yo voy a publicar ésto en Inglés y Español para evitar cualquier confusión y prevenir unos momentos extraños y frases que se pueden perder con la traducción. Primero, Inglés:

IN ENGLISH

More fallout from (one of) the roommates

So there´s more fallout from the ´unflattering blog discovery´ debacle. As my boyfriend was going down to the kitchen to get some breakfast, he bumped into Miriam, who had been the main ´victim´ in the less-than-flattering blogs. He says hello to her, she ignores him and rushes out of the kitchen to go straight into the bathroom and she closes the door. He comes back upstairs to tell me, which at this point I don´t care anymore. (I will mention now that I was also expecting some ´evil eyes´, as these blogs had expressed my opinions of her - and they weren´t particularly nice ones either!) The boy and I go downstairs as he left for uni and I checked to see if the bathroom was free. The door was open, so I was confident. She was in there, I say ´Oops, sorry´, she ignores me and continues brushing her hair. At this point, I cared even less and I went back upstairs to ponder if things can get any more uncomfortable.

This is my opinion of this whole thing. I am the kind of person who needs an outlet to vent because when I do vent, it can get nasty and it is unfair to rant continuously to my close friends face-to-face - it´s easier through a computer screen to people who may or may not know me (the people who do not know me far outweigh the people who do who also read this :) ) so the concept of blogging is perfect for me. And when it comes to expressing opinions or statements about people, here´s the thing: it is just MY impressions.

Firstly: I don´t have a role in public office, so it´s not like I have to be civil with these impressions.

Secondly: Despite little chats here and there whilst sharing kitchen space with her for the last 2 and a bit months, I really don´t know this girl (and from her immature actions of ignorance, I don´t WANT to know her either). Because I don´t know who she is or what she is like, my opinions of her are insignificant - it´s just a rant that I am having in MY BLOG and something that has bothered ME, not her. It will pass because it is a small moment - and it always passes - but because I don´t know her well, they are MY IMPRESSIONS. They could be wrong, but it is what I am seeing AT THE TIME. Things change, impressions change when you take the time to get to know someone - if that´s what you are looking for.

Let´s reverse roles for a minute: Anybody can say whatever they want about me and I won´t care because there are only a small handful of people in this world who REALLY know me - and even fewer people in my life whose opinions and thoughts of me I care about. I can probably count on one hand the people who fit into the latter category. (And if you are reading this Miriam, you´ll be pleased to know that you don´t fit in either of these categories). So what´s my point? If I express impressions on personalities or traits based on what little I have seen from you, no matter how hurtful they may seem, it is insignificant because I DO NOT KNOW YOU!! Get pissy (hell, you´re there already) and realise - and be thankful - that there is not long to go before I never see you again. I know I am.

EN ESPAÑOL

Más quilombo con (una de) los compañeros de casa

Hay más que contar con la situación de los blogs desagradables. Cuando mi novio fue a la cocina para desayuno, él vió a Miriam, quien es la ´víctima principal´ en los blogs. Él la saluda, ella lo ignora y sale rápidamente de la cocina hacia el baño y cierra la puerta. Él sube arriba para contarme, y a mi, sinceramente no me importaba. (Te cuento ahora que yo estaba esperando unas miradas de ´mal de ojo´, porque estos blogs expresaron mis opiniones de ella – y no eran especialmente agradables). Mi novio y yo vamos hacia abajo, él se fue a la facultad y yo me fijé si el baño estaba libre. La puerta estaba abierta, así que yo estaba segura que el baño estaba libre. Pero ella estaba ahí. Le dije, ´Ay, perdón´, ella me ignora y sigue cepillándose el pelo. A este punto, el asunto me importaba menos y volví al dormitorio para reflexionar si la situación podría ser más incómoda.

Ésta es mi opinion sobre todo este asunto. Yo soy una persona que necesita un lugar donde puedo expresarme sin barreras porque cuando me expreso sinceramente, las impresiones pueden ser desagradables y no es justo decir todo esto a mis amigos cercanos, aunque me entiendan – es más fácil con una computadora, publicando estos blogs para que la gente que me conoce (o no) puede leerlos (la mayoría de personas que leen mi blog, no las conosco), entonces el concepto del blogging es perfecto para mi. Y cuando yo publico mis opiniones o declaraciones sobre otras personas – aquí es la cosa – son solamente MIS impresiones.

Primero: Yo no tengo ningún cargo público – no soy famosa ni política, entonces no tengo que tener cuidado con lo que digo.
Segundo: A pesar de unas pequeñas charlas mientras compartimos espacio en la cocina desde marzo, yo sinceramente no conosco a esta chica (y con sus acciones inmaduras de ignorancia hoydía, no la QUIERO conocer tampoco). Y porque yo no la conosco y no se como es como persona, mis opiniones de ella son insignificantes – son solamente discursos rimbombantes en MI BLOG y algo que me ha molestado A MÍ, no a ella. Estos sentimientos mios van a pasar de largo – y siempre pasan - porque son solamente pequeños momentos de negatividad de personas que realmente no conosco. Son MIS IMPRESIONES. Podría estar equivocada con ellas, pero son las impresiones que veo EN ESE MOMENTO. Las cosas cambian, las impresiones cambian cuando uno toma el tiempo para conocerte – si eso es lo que uno quiere hacer.

Permítenme inversar la situación por un minuto. Cualquier persona puede decir lo que quiera de mi y no me va a afectar porque hay solamente un pequeño grupo de personas en este mundo que me REALMENTE conoce – y aún menos personas todavía que me importa de sus opiniones y pensamientos de mi. Yo probablemente podría contar en una mano las personas que pertenecen en la última categoría. (Y si por casualidad estás leyendo mi blog Miriam, estarías muy contenta de saber que tu no perteneces en ninguna de estas categorías). ¿Así que cual es mi postura? Bueno, si yo expreso impresiones de personalidades tuyas basadas en lo poco que he visto de ti, por dañosas que sean, son insignificantes porque...¡¡YO NO TE CONOSCO!! Enculáte todo lo que quieras (todos sabemos que ya estás ahí) y empezá a darte cuenta – y sea agradecida – que no hay mucho tiempo hasta que me vaya y yo jamás te veré – es lo que yo estoy pensando ahora.

Editorial Control

This is one of my first blogs of the year - mostly due to all the travelling I've been doing (you'd think that alone would be a reason to keep a regular blog). But today there was an interesting (for want of a better word) experience with my boyfriend's blog. He used to use one site (all sites and names will remain anonymous...for now! We'll call this one Site 1), but after several times of blogs not posting and other little annoyances, he switched over to another site, and has been happily blogging since (Site 2!) The only thing is that the privacy settings are much easier to control with Site 1 as opposed to Site 2 and for some reason they were not on the settings that he had hoped for in the new and better Site 2. So a few 'bitching' blogs about his roommates later, he was caught out and one of the roommates let him know that he was not happy with some of the offending blogs.

Now this raises some questions - can the people who have been bitched about demand the author of the blog to delete the offending comments? It's a little quandry - because I know when I blog, I use it as an opportunity to vent - and when I do vent I don't exactly leave a most flattering impression of the people whom I am ranting about. But after I have this rant, I forget about it and move on, happy in the knowledge that I have had an outlet for this, otherwise it would continue festering in my mind. And this makes me feel a lot better afterwards because it is just ONE small moment of pissiness. It is not ongoing and I get over it pretty quickly, thanks to my blog which allows me to vent in the first place. So back to my inital question: If I have a rant about a person and they read about it, can they ask me to delete said comments? I say no, because it was just one little moment that becomes insignificant a short while after posting. It doesn't matter anymore. Secondly, while the people may be named, they still remain unknown to the rest of the cyber world. Do you know how many people in the world are named Jessica* or Dylan*? I could be talking about Dylan from Timbuktu for all anybody knows, but then the Dylan I know reads a blog by me bitching about him being a neat freak and Dylan gets all defensive! (I'm using an example here, the only Dylan I know lived in Beverly Hills and I enjoyed watching him every week)

Fair enough, I accept that Dylan is going to get narky about it and have a little fit of "Why did you say that about me to an open audience?" I not only accept it, I EXPECT it. But what I do not expect is to be told to delete the offending posts like all of a sudden I'm a sitcom writer and am being sent to the censors. Get upset, tell me about it, I can apologise - and mean it - but I will not delete said comment. Once others have editorial control over MY blog, it will be the end of MY blog. It is MY blog for a reason. By all means, if Dylan would like to open up a blog and bitch about me, he is entitled. I can be narky, tell him about how it made me feel but at the end of the day, it is just a moment and the feeling of hurt will pass (if I cared! To some extent I do, but not nearly as much to say, "get rid of that at once")

I have said my piece. Nobody has editorial control over my blog but me. So that's what My Blog is about. I welcome your comments :)

*These are names I've just come up with and not people I know - it's just proving my point of how many people in the world have the same names!